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Friday, February 08, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Bare


~ freedom to soar ~
These past couple of weeks have been hard and that's an improvement. The months, weeks, days, hours, seconds even, used to be bone crushing, soul sucking difficult. Improvements come in small, incremental steps; sometimes two forward and one back or even three forward and two back. But they come and God's grace is evident even when I
can't see it or, especially, when I can't feel it. For all the unkind comments there have been many more kind comments and I am grateful.

When you are struggling, do you go back and read the kind comments people have made to you? I do. It helps me keep perspective; it also helps me keep perspective to remember God's past blessings in my life. Have you heard the saying, "I want to be the kind of person my dogs thinks I am"? I want to be the person my dogs believe me to be: the loving, kind, treat giving human Mom and not the shrill, screaming, crying, out of control person they, sometimes, see. 

Yes, I'm nattering on again about being a widow (shudder, gasp, scream, cry, sad, pathetic word) and soldiering on alone. There are about three people who can stand to see me at my worst; the rest are uncomfortable, uneasy, disheartened and can't wait to scurry away, hang up the phone or hit the delete button.

Daddy tells a story of a neighbor when Daddy was growing up. This man was a practicing Christian with four sons who were reprobates. They cared nothing for God, Christ, salvation, church nor anyone having anything to do with same. The Christian gentleman was on his deathbed and, as was the custom in those days, his sons were called to his side. He wanted to speak God's grace into their lives but, as usual, they turned a deaf ear yet stayed in the room. As the gentleman's earthly time came to an end, he began to be in torment. He began shouting, screaming, begging, pleading and crying out to God for mercy. With his last breaths he beseeched God for rest from the pain, physical, mental and emotional and then he died in agony.

His sons were stunned! Their Dad had been a Christian all of their lives and if anyone should have an easy death, carried into heaven on angel's wings, it should have been their Dad. An unease settled in the room and on each son as they considered what they'd just witnessed and before their Dad was buried, each one accepted Christ as Lord and Savior. To a man they said, "If Dad had that hard a death and he was a Christian, there was no hope for us outside of Christ."

To be laid bare is to know the One who loves me and carries me through the seconds, then the minutes and the hours, the days, weeks, months, years. At my best, I am barely lovable and at my worst, mine own disowns me.

Dear God, I believe; help me believe.

Linking with Lisa-Jo, 5 Minute Friday: Bare.


"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein ~

Today's Miracles ~ rain ~ transparency ~ courage ~ angels ~ God's mercy ~ Christ's salvation ~ forgiveness ~

17 comments:

Emily Gardner said...

"To be laid bare is to know the One who loves me and carries me through..." Absolutely beautiful and I whole heartedly agree!

Whimsey Creations said...

And He will carry you through. I do disagree about you being unlovable though and it sounds like you've had a rough week this week. I hope it gets better. Hugs!

Becky said...

My dear Sandra, I am sending you hugs and prayers for strength and comfort. I still can not believe that folks make unkind comments to you! How can anyone know what you are coping with and experiencing? I don't understand how they think they came to be so wise! I haven't a clue....but I DO know I am to love you, comfort you, pray that the peace of God comes to you like a river. I surely wish that we were closer....I wouldn't be rushing away from you. Hang tough, my sister in Christ! I guess you have to be a mountain girl to understand!! Love you much!

Becky

Jen Ferguson said...

So glad that you wrote this today. My favorite piece I'm carrying with me today is this: "To be laid bare is to know the One who loves me and carries me..."

Alice said...

It is a difficult road at best. Each of us grieve in our own way and the time it takes is also our own. I am not a widow but i am now an orphan. I have lost both my parents in the last few months. i related a little to your story. My dad had many challenges in his life but remained faithful to God. He ended up suffering in his death. I kept wondering what glory would God recieve from this suffering. We prayed everyday for two weeks for God to take him and end his suffering. We never know how God will use us. Thank you so much for your post. I pray you will feel God close to you at this time. It is the only thing that we can always count on. God Bless!

Dewena Callis said...

Sandra, I am thankful you felt that you could be honest here about this time in your life. So many things may be working against you now. The winter and it being February and everyone with Valentine's Day on their minds and blogs. And perhaps remarks from someone that hurt or even being ignored and feeling invisible. I know you understand that this will pass, won't it? I can't speak that for you, but I hope so. Just don't continue to feel unloved because you aren't. But do feel as though you can continue to talk about how you're feeling here, as long as it takes.
Dewena

Dewena Callis said...

Sandra, I am thankful you felt that you could be honest here about this time in your life. So many things may be working against you now. The winter and it being February and everyone with Valentine's Day on their minds and blogs. And perhaps remarks from someone that hurt or even being ignored and feeling invisible. I know you understand that this will pass, won't it? I can't speak that for you, but I hope so. Just don't continue to feel unloved because you aren't. But do feel as though you can continue to talk about how you're feeling here, as long as it takes.
Dewena

Sparky Hudson said...

Hi Sandra,
I'm sorry someone has hurt you. Whether it's intentional or not it still smarts like the dickens, doesn't it.
I've suffered through the loss of so many loved, and not so loved, ones too. It tends to make one a little over sensitive (been there, done that). It's normal. It's like someone has shot a gun off in close to your head and everything is off balance for awhile.
Anyway, this is meant gently and with affection: the first two years are the hardest. Even the prophetess Deborah hid in a cave for two years after her husband died. I do that: hide in an emotional cave after I lose someone. Don't let the trolls get ya down. Sometimes they hurt by accident 'cause their idiots sometimes it's by design. Whatever it is, God will deal with them appropriately. But, hey, if you ever need to vent, cry on a cyber-shoulder or just hear nice things so you'll feel loved (and you are!) give me a holler. I'm a good listener as I'm sure all your followers here are. We all appreciate and love you very much but JESUS LOVES YOU BEST!
Luv & Hugs,
Sparky ~:)

annie said...

sending you a hug..,,,

LindaSue said...

Sandra Sister in our Hood - you are speaking my language - I find groaning, screaming and snot slinging fits to be unacceptable by most people who think they "understand how it is" to lose my love, my partner - the man I trusted with my heart and to shelter me to the end of MY life not HIS!!!!
anyhow - God is faithful and for that - I can breathe, blow my nose and go feed these dogs who think I'm actually worthy of their loving devotion!

dori said...

Dear Thistle, this text moves my heart. Yesterday I heard in TV Joyce Meyer saing: "Christ, Who lives in us, is stronger than this one (devil), who is in the world"

I appreciate Joyce Meyer very much, I believe you, too! Have a good and healthy and soft night, ma dear!

Fearless Farmgirl said...

Remember that being brave isn't about not being scared, it's being afraid and going ahead with life, love, grace, God, faith, you name it.....anyway.

Blessings to you Sister.

Carol OurSearsKitHome said...

Sandra,
It grieves me to think that anyone would leave you an unkind comment.
Whoever does must truly be in an awful place.
Blessings to you. You have a beautiful heart.

Madge Bloom said...

Sandra, yes, you linked up right... If it weren't for the Lord, His love, forgiveness and grace, not one among us could stand. I am facing back surgery due to an on the job injury in October and at times wish I could light a fire under those in charge of what's going on... but thankfully I know Who hold the matches. Thank you for sharing on Weekly Top Shot #69!

Roxi -Coppercurls Designs said...

Thanks for your openness. Big hugs coming your way and prayers.

Anne Payne said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. My oldest daughter passed away nine months ago at age 28 and Yes, I often go back and read the kind comments, cards and letters that people sent. It is a soothing balm on some days but every day the Lord is my rock!
I came by from BMB and I'm a new follower.

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Emily, it's a daily process, isn't it? Thanks for visiting TCF.

Jill, thank you for visiting and for your kind words; this too shall pass.

Becky, mountain girls are BEST!

Jen, thank you for visiting and God carries us daily or I'd never get out of bed -smile-.

Alice, I'm sorry you're an orphan; that's so difficult.

Dewena, this blog is such an outlet for me and kind comments help so much. Thank you.

Sparky, that's such a wonderful truth...Jesus loves us each best!

Annie, hugs accepted, thank you.

LindaSue, I'm with you...with every word!

Dori, Joyce Meyer is such a wonderful teacher; love her!

Fearless Farmgirl, thank you for visiting me and for your wisdom.

Carol, pray for our enemies is a hard thing to do. For me anyway.

Madge, that's what gets us through...we know Who is in charge.

Roni - many thanks for the hugs and prayers.

Anne, I am so, so sorry; you are in my thoughts and prayers.


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