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I am Sandra - faithful steward. listener. shepherd. dream believer. hard worker. collects brass bells, boots. Jesus follower. contented. star gazer. homemaker. farmer. prayer warrior. country woman. reader. traveler. writer. homebody. living life large.

Friday, December 09, 2011

An Ordinary Day

~ Super Sadie and Sophie Lauren Butterball ~
For some reason, this photo makes me think of Superman. Remember? He'd stand, arms crossed, as he gazed in the far distance. I tried putting antlers on the dogs...Christmas, doncha know?...and they rebelled. Sadie would run between my legs...I think in embarrassment...and Sam would just shake his head like, "you're taking this just a little too far, Mom." Somehow, he didn't seem to buy the disguise suggestion. 
~ Sam P. Spade, Secret Agent ~
It was crisp today but warm enough to get outside and get some work done. 
The garden still has corn which is given to the horses; such a treat for them! 
Not the best photo of Sophie but she was shaking her head to rid herself of dirt. Sophie, Sam and Abbie spent a couple of hours today digging out mice...Good Dogs...Very Good Dogs! Sadie, of course, supervised as she doesn't like getting wet or cold feet.
~ Abigail Von Rotten The Terror ~
Abbie has old bones; Dave and I found her back in May 1997 and she was an adult when we found her. She's been my heartbeat all these years; where you'd see me, you'd see Abigail and vice versa. She still has a great heart but her body is slowing down and she's all but deaf with vision problems but her nose is still as good as ever. Please God, don't take her too very soon...please.

Today was, just about, an ordinary day. What a blessing and a gift! Yes, I spent a lot of time wrestling with various folks trying to get yet more paperwork accomplished regarding Dave's death. I think I'm making headway but, tell me something...is it just me or would you get riled when someone said, "I'm sorry for your loss. Your husband owned money on his credit card and we can take that money out of your checking account Right Now and it won't cost you anything." 

Well. Duh. What a surprise. It won't cost me anything, eh? Do I look like one of those ejit ninja turtles? I think not. I told the woman I had to go to town, re-arrange some money and would send her a check later today. She said, "in that case, we're going to have to start searching for his estate so we can attach the estate." I said, "What part of I CALLED YOU don't you understand? I'm perfectly willing to pay this bill but I have to make sure I have the money in my checking account. And anyway, I AM THE ESTATE!"  I have sunk to a new low; I am now praying for people like Paul prayed for Alexander

I've said I'm going to blog about this madness that has resulted from Dave's, untimely to me, death. There are things you can do now to help you in the event your spouse passes away. Things that will make all the paperwork, banking, legal krap, etc. much, much easier on the one left behind. I'm working on some blog entries now and will, after the first of the year, present them to you. I thought we could all get through Christmas and the Holidays first and then, like going back to school, start on 2 January. 

Wife to Widow: Preparedness Training is the working title; I certainly like...well, you know what I mean...wry smile...the Wife to Widow part...it's at least apropos in my state...and I'm still trying to figure out the secondary part.

Would someone help me with a blog button, please and thank you? I'm giving away what I've learned, via the school of hard knocks, for free and would like to get the word out to as many as possible. Yeah, maybe it is a bit macabre but, believe me, the more information and knowledge you have at hand, the better off you'll be. When you're in a vulnerable situation, sharks are circling like mad and just waiting for you to stumble and fall into the water so they can finish you off. Everyone has their hand out and it's a juggling act, figuring out who gets what first. 

I've learned a difficult time does not have to be a terrible time but you have to be prepared. Or is that a terrible time does not have to be a difficult time...? Whatever, I can help make it easier. We're all in this thing called life together; let's hold hands and help each other along the way.

Blessings ~ sunshine ~ Sam ~ Abbie ~ Sadie ~ Sophie ~ an ordinary day ~

25 comments:

  1. Sandra - Love your shots of your pups... the first one, at first glance I thought one was standing on the back of the other... lol! Praying too that Abbie grow many years older yet. I cannot imagine how difficult all that red tape is to deal with and yes, the aggravation of dealing with SOME people... it's like they do really listen to what one says... sigh and grrr at the same time! I think I can give you a hand with a button... email me about it (theviewfromrighthere at comcast dot net). Thankful that you had a sort of normal day.

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  2. Like they do not listen, I meant not...

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  3. ordinary = GREAT!



    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

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  4. I can make you a button honey, what did you have in mind? Hugs to you my friend.

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  5. That ear of corn is beautiful. The golden yellow into orange surounded by the tans --God is good at choosing his color scheme! The textures are excellent, too. Against the blue sky with the green all around, those colors would make a geat quilt, eh?
    I will digest and save every bit of your preparedness training course. --and hope that the paper will be very yellow and crumbly by the time it is needed!
    Blessings!

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  6. All I can say is there are some silly bankers about.
    I loved the christmas photos I am sure My dog is dreading his christmas photo shoot.

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  7. I love your dogs!!! These are great photos of them :o)! Thank you!
    (Mira also love to watch these photos...:o))))

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  8. Your welcome but I am more of a Taff then a Pom.

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  9. A lovely post with wonderful images, and i wish your precious dog (family member) many more years with you. Richard

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  10. Love the photos of your puppies, Sandra. I'm sure they bring you much comfort and joy. xoxo

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  11. Amen, Sandra.

    Love the pups, especially Abby. What would we ever do without them.....

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  12. I think this is a grand idea, Sandra, and it would be helpful to women in your situation. An elderly friend died recently, having told his family that he had ALL the funeral arrangements, etc. all finalized. But he hadn't. It was such a stressful thing for them to handle, right in the middle of their grief. And the title is GREAT! When you begin your posts on this, I'd be happy to do a link to them from my blog :)

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  13. I went through the loss of my husband almost 6 years ago. Settling an estate is a chore even with a will and a trust. It is so important to be prepared. My thoughts are with you as you go through these days.

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  14. For all the estates that I've settled (4) it amazes me the cold callous demeanor of the people you have to deal with in a death & estate finalizing. Sometimes you just want to reach thru the phone ... but you don't. It is 'what part of my sentence didn't you understand, I speak FLUENT ENGLISH (which has become my favorite line anymore).

    I am so sorry you have to go thru this Sandra. May Dave rest gently in His arms & you be showered with many blessings, my friend.]

    Merry Christmas
    TTFN ~
    Hugs & love,
    Marydon

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  15. An Ordinary Day ~ one of God's best gifts! Praying you have many more of them!

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  16. SO glad you had an ordinary day and yes, the aftermath of dealing with an estate isn't fun - I dealt with my grandmother's some years back and remember talking to some of the stupidest people on earth. Hey, my computer died last night and I won't be getting a new one until late January so if you email me and I don't respond right away, that's why. I'll send you my work email shortly. Hugs!

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  17. Having lost my mom in September, I can relate to you, but on a different level. It galls me how insensitive business can be. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  18. This is a very good idea for future posts Sandra, and I think you should make it such that it will help widowers too. Death of a loved one is traumatic to all, and until this happens to someone they cannot really know what to expect. You blogging about this and tagging your posts as such will help more people than you can probably ever know.

    I am glad you had the nearest to an ordinary day you have had for awhile. Ordinary days truly are blessings, aren't they? Having beloved dogs around is also a blessing...and a comfort.

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  19. Hello Sandra, thanks so much for your lovely Christmas wishes the other day. I would be very glad to read your posts in the New Year..great idea! I have been meaning to check in for some time & say how grateful I am for your frankness. When you posted about choosing happiness a week or so ago (goodness time gets all muddled up sometimes doesn't it!) We were just in the middle of some pretty crunchy decision making (people!!) & your post was just what we needed to hear & such a comfort..even in the middle of your pain & struggle. I'm not sure I'm making much sense but sending my love nonetheless & thanks! Catherine x0x0x

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  20. Hey, you got a button! It looks very nice :-)

    I love that picture. Superman indeed.

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  21. Hello Sandra:
    What fun the picture of your dog in antlers. That really made us smile. Too bad that the others refused to play along since you could have created your own 'reindeer' team, perfect for the festive season!!!!

    Having dealt with the estate of a deceased friend last year, we can fully appreciate the mountains of paperwork with which you are having to deal. Whatever, try not to be pressurised in either making decisions or responding to demands faster than the speed at which you are comfortable. things can and will wait.

    We were heartened to read that at least some parts of the days are returning to a type of normality. In this way, we are sure that the daily tasks of the farm are a comfort to you. As always, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  22. I came by here this morning to thank you for entering my giveaway. I had no idea what you were going through in your life and after reading back on your blog my heart aches for you.
    The hardest thing for anyone is adjusting to a life without their loved one. Living alone is very hard like you mentioned you celebrate the ordinary days.
    I loss my spouse but not through death so I don't know that loss but I do know the loss of having him there to hold you and be with you so any time you need to talk I am here. grandmayellowhair@gmail.com
    Lifting you up in my prayers and your sweet precious babies that you are taking such good care of. I love how you captured their pics
    Maggie

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  23. Yes, any help appreciated please! Your dogs look proud and happy! Who cares if one looks silly for a day. Laughter is the best medicine, right!
    ps I'm knitting up my first ball of yarn now, lumps, bumps and good bits all together!
    Re: you would think all these people could wait till after Christmas, wouldn't you. Dear oh dear.

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  24. Absolutely beautiful photos! Thank you so much for sharing them.

    I too offer to help with a blog button if you need it, though it sounds as if you have plenty of help! Friends are good aren't they? ;) When you get it made up I will definitely put it on my little blog because I really think it's a wonderful idea for a series of posts. Perhaps you can even turn it into an ebook when you're done. One of my worst fears is something happening to my husband. I'm a stay at home mom and he handles EVERYTHING financially. I don't even have a bank account or credit card in my own name. I haven't got a clue how I'd handle it all and with a toddler and a baby it's not just my own future that would be up in the air but theirs as well. Any tips you can offer to help the two of us get our affairs in order would be greatly appreciated!!! As always you are such an amazing inspiration. Sending you a hug,
    Meegan

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  25. I can't help with the side "button" but your idea for a widow preparedness blog is excellent. I offer my help . . .

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