Phrase Wisdom

~ laughter is good medicine ~

"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..."
~ Lillian Carter, Mother of Jimmy Carter ~

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "no good in bed, but fine against a wall." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." ~ Mark Twain ~

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible." ~ George Burns ~

"Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year." ~ Victor Borge ~

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." ~ Mark Twain ~

"I'm more concerned about the return of my money than the return on my money." ~ Will Rogers ~

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife [husband], you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates ~

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."  ~ Groucho Marx ~

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breath."
~ Jimmy Durante ~

"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
~ Alex Levine ~

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying." ~ Rodney Dangerfield ~

"Money can't buy you happiness...But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
~ Spike Milligan ~

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." ~ Bob Hope ~

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." ~ W. C. Fields ~

"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress."
~ Will Rogers ~

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you." ~ Winston Churchill ~

"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... But everything else starts to wear out, fall out or spread out."
~ Phyllis Diller ~

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere."  ~ Billy Crystal ~

"The only easy day was yesterday." 

~ Richard R. Deyo ~ 

Blessings ~ laughter ~ humor ~ wise words ~