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I am Sandra - faithful steward. listener. shepherd. dream believer. hard worker. collects brass bells, boots. Jesus follower. contented. star gazer. homemaker. farmer. prayer warrior. country woman. reader. traveler. writer. homebody. living life large.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Chatting with Patrice

~ I miss my sheep! ~
I'm exhausted. I'm beyond tired. I'm cranky, whiny, grumpy and want to run away from home. Dare you ask why? I'm keeping Mary's children, a labor of love, but trust me on one has enough money to pay me for this job. No one. Not even Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. N.O. O.N.E. Get my drift? Am I clear? Tomorrow will be the end of the second week. The SECOND week. Of the summer. They aren't bad children but they are 10, 11 and 13 and I am 61. God help us all. Me especially. There's not enough booze in this house. Heck. There's probably not enough booze in this world. You know what I'm doing every afternoon after I deliver them to their mother? I come home and chop thistles with my stirrup hoe. I'm not sure what that means. Heck. I'm not sure I want to know. There might be some deep, dark thoughts, way beneath the surface...don't go there. Prayer helps but it's impossible to pray as much as I need to pray. I have to eat and sleep sometime. O Lord. Did I mention it's only week two? 

Maybe it's the boxes and boxes and boxes and get the drift...of packed stuff goods belongings stacked in the metal building or upstairs hall or in the bedrooms or...everywhere...that reminds me this season of life is drawing to an end. That's a good thing but it doesn't mean it's an easy thing. For you who've still got your spouse to snug up against tonight, you don't understand. You can't understand and you may thank God for it but for those of us whose husbands have gone Home, it's tough. Linda Sue has found Michael and I rejoice with both of them at their happiness. I'm also envious even though I don't want a spouse; I want to move. Rainey knows what it's like; she's been struggling as well and we send each other little notes, keep each other tucked in prayer. It's still dang hard, tough as nails and something we wouldn't wish on someone we didn't like. I told Rainy, "Yes, God takes care of us, all of us, but it's not the same as having someone with skin on." Fortunately, she didn't think I was being sarcastic or sacrilegious; unfortunately, she understands. Even though I'm ready to go, I'm not homesick and still love my life. Mostly.

There's been a lot of interest in the farm but no offers...yet. See number five below.  Patrice, Everyday Ruralty, hosts Chats on the Farmhouse Porch, Number 144 and I'm playing along. Yeah, it was yesterday but I'm feeling real blessed I remembered at all, much less late. For small mercies, make us me grateful, dear Lord.

1. Do you like lemonade? I think this is what she means although she said lemon-aid; different sides of the same coin, perhaps? Yes, I like lemonade when it's freshly made with real lemons and simple syrup. I detest that fake powdered stuff and don't much like flavored lemonade. I mean, if you want to drink raspberry flavored something, why not just make raspberry flavored something? 

2. How many place settings of silverware could you come up with? Personally, I like paper goods especially since I've been keeping three children. Paper plates, paper napkins towels, paper cups. Over the years, I've saved a few hundred thousand million a whole lot of trees and planted my fair share. If I want to use paper this summer, I'm dang going to use paper. 
Oh wait. There was a question. 
Well, there's the dozen silver place settings, the dozen silver plate place settings, the dozen bone handled place settings, the eight place settings of everyday stuff (minus the odd spoon or knife that's missing) and then the odd mix of utensils that have been collected over the decades. Don't get me started on dishes...Dave's mother had 50 years worth of dishes, Dave and his first wife had 25 years, I had 25 years...I am grateful to Stephanie that she packed up most of that stuff. By the time I get to unpack, it'll all be new again.

3. Have you ever been to a party in a barn? Yep and spend every Christmas Eve in the barn talking to the animals. 

4. Do you wear nail polish? Maybe 2 or 3 times a year but it's such a bother, you know? My idea of a manicure is a pair of nail clippers. For what a manicure costs, I can buy all kinds of lovely books, chocolate or special treats. I see an expen$ive manicure on some woman and think...uh huh. And you wonder why you don't have any money? 

5. Please finish this sentence...I wish I could...SELL AND MOVE. NOW. SOON. NOW.

What I'm going to do is take a shower, put on a nightgown, grab a book and escape into fiction. Tomorrow is going to come too soon and like a freight train...unstoppable.

Blessings ~ I'm able to help ~ cold, clear, sweet tap water ~ thistle chopping ~


  1. Oh Sandra now I am tired thinking of those children:) I know what you mean you make me laugh.
    Take care all will turn out the way it is supposed to :)
    I am not a fan of disques either:) Hug B

  2. All I can think is, you need a break woman!
    Before you break . . .
    What can I do?

  3. I can relate to some of this. I'm 52 and have a (challenging!!!) 12-year-old 24-7. Yeah, he's my son and I choose to homeschool, but I really don't think that makes it easier.

  4. Hello Sandra:

    You make light of it all but we know it cannot be easy. We so hope that the farm will sell quickly and that you can begin a new chapter of your life. But until then you must, must take on less and where other people are concerned, learn to say NO!!!

    Our love as always.

  5. Sandra, I know what you are feeling. My Daughter moved in.
    I was so lonely after My husband passed away 2002. Seems like yesterday. You have a lot on your plate. I am 78 and just can't do all the work I did 4 years ago. It's time to move to a handicap small apartment. I am thinking of selling this house I built in 2005. It is perfect inside. It's the Yard, I created a monster.

  6. Sandra, I feel for you. I have 3 of my own kids, exactly the same ages as your Mary' home, all the time, 24/7.

    They are a handful!

    I apologize for being remiss in my prayers for you. I will try to do better.

  7. I also hope #5 happens soon!

  8. I am worn out with my 6 and can't send them home at the end of the day. I am supppossedly a young whipper snapper too at 41. Bless your heart for helping with the kids!

  9. I am so sorry about your exhaustion. Is there any body else who could watch them, even for a couple days a week? It sounds like you might need to tell the mother she has to come up with some kind of modified arrangement. It's okay to say no. Still have you on my prayer list. Blessings, Deborah

  10. I wish you could move too. I know how emotionally draining it is. All this WAITING. UGH! You're a doll though to take care of those kids with all this stuff hanging over your head. One day you'll look back and it'll be a happy memory. Well, still praying that you'll get the right buyer soon. It might take a little while. The economy is so bad that it's on the verge of being called another Great Depression. That's a lot to work through.

    ((Hugs)) & Prayers from Gawga ~:)

  11. So touching, Thistle, dear true fighting angel!

    I fell on the floor laughing, when I read, that there is not enough aAlkohol in this house, in this world :)
    Wonderful, Thistle :)))))

    God will give you His Pneuma to do, what you have to do.
    Without HIM the richest can do NOTHING....

  12. Oh my word, Sandra. I could not do it. Really could not. Looking after someone's livestock in a pinch? Yes, even though it would be tough these days, I would do it gladly because it needs to be done and I can do it pretty well most of the time. But human youngsters, however nice, day after day? Good gracious. I'll think of you when my back is aching after chores tonight, and I will think, "I am SOOOO lucky!"

  13. Dear, dear Sandra ~ I am amazed at your stamina. You've already had to deal with loss, getting rid of your critters, packing up belongings and hoping to sell so that you can move somewhere smaller. God's blessings on you.

    I want to say that I woke up feeling more positive this morning and that was so nice after a few days of feeling down. Prayer works.

    Love and hugs to you ~ Rainey a.k.a. FlowerLady

  14. Praying for your endurance! I babysat two days a week for my daughters two toddlers for a few months so she could work. This was in addition to working myself! It is exhausting at our age. The youngsters probably don't understand that. Thank the Lord, she quit her job to stay home with the girls. I pray for provision for her family because I think it's so great to have Mom at home if at all possible. It's where her heart is. Babysitting grandkids IS a labor of love. Like you said, nobody could pay you enough. It's hard to find someone you would trust with them other than Grandma! Hang in there!

  15. You're my hero! Watching over 3 kids every day. You're a dear. I'm guessing you fall asleep pretty fast at night and that is a gift! I hope your place sells soon. Summer's a good time when everything looks so nice and green.

  16. Oh Sandra-- would you hate me if I said I can't stop laughing??? I can just see you in charge of a house full of children-- totally exasperated-- but from the children's perspective-/ I bet they are having a wonderful time with you:)

    Should we nickname you Mary Poppins??

    Nobody can tell a story as good as you do-- you really should write a book of your adventures-- but then-- that's what this blog is!!

    Love you-- wish I could be a little bird peeking in the windows:)


  17. I'm really so sorry that your summer has this rather dreaded daily activity -- even though I know it's a labor of love. But I know it's exhausting physically and emotionally. May God give you the strength you need to endure as long as He keeps you there.

  18. I got a belly laugh about your babysitting description! I wouldn't hold up nearly as well as you!


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