2013 Year's End Post

~ Miss Emma ~

Do you celebrate Hogmanay? Read my post, here, for more information. I don't but that's mainly due to the fact I keep my front gate locked -smile-.

It's year's end and a lot of people are busy making plans and resolutions. If you're a long time reader, you may have read what Daddy has to say about New Year's Resolutions: "If you're living the way you're supposed to live every day, you don't need to make resolutions that you're probably not going to keep anyway."  Amen.

~ Levi Lilly ~

So, I  make no resolutions but do make goals and steps to achieve those goals. A year ago, December 11th, I began a two post series entitled PDS - Pretty Darn Smart, Part 1, of how to dream dreams, make goals and see fruition. The series continued January, Part 2, and now, a year later, I'm looking at what I hit, what I missed and what I simply forgot. Overall, the biggest lesson learned has been to print off that valuable information and keep it in front of me. Out of sight, out of mind and not realized. ouch

I was hit or miss (mostly miss) on the Wife to Widow book and, truth be told, I got discouraged. In July, I met with two book publishers and both said, "Great idea but not what we're looking for." I've since met with an independent agent and she suggested self-publishing but I'm not sure I'm capable of that learning curve.  Do I put all the information on the 1 Wife to Widow blog or print into a spiral bound book form? My original intent was to teach classes, using a 3-ring binder for myself and participants so each would have everything they need to prepare their affairs. I'm not sure what to do; what's your opinion, which would you prefer and why? Please help me make a wise decision.

~ Tippy and Gypsy ~

These last few days have found me reviewing my finances and making decisions on what to cancel, what to keep or delete. For example, today I canceled Direct TV for a purely financial reason. I'm paying $959.40, yearly, to watch no more than half dozen television shows and that averages $159.90 per show. I'm not sure but that might be obscene with Bill Gates' money! So, I canceled and, of course, they told me I'd been a good great customer for more than thirteen years and they wanted to give me $10 off each month.

Big Whoop and I don't think so. For $959.40, I can fly, round trip to almost anywhere I want to go in the world. For that same money, I can buy a truck load of movies and for $7.99 a month, I can rent as many DVD's as I want every month through Netflix. (I lack the bandwidth watch movies on computer.)

The nice young man at Direct TV wanted me to "save more money by bundling" which is another way of saying "gotcha!" Maybe it works for some folks but I refuse to bundle; I refuse to be caught in a loop where the contract date is different for television, telephone and internet. When I want to cancel one, they say, "You can't without paying a huge fine to get out of the contract and the contract dates are different for each. HA! The only thing bundled around here is laundry.

~ Sadie ~

I'm not suggesting you should cancel your cable television but I am suggesting you review your finances and see if there's money you're spending here, you'd rather spend there. I'm already looking at where I could go with that same money...a sunny Caribbean beach sounds fabulous, as I sit here, watching the snow pour.

Earlier in the year, I reviewed my land line telephone and dropped that bill by $25 a month or $300 a year. I was paying for stuff I didn't even know I had nor how to use! I also had to replace my mobile phone and, unfortunately, only had the choice to purchase a lesser quality phone due to the monthly amount I want need to pay. I would love to have a fancy smart phone but, around here, it makes no sense but should I ever move to a less rural area, I'll research a better phone.

~ Sam and Tom ~

Here's how I look at money as a tool...the basic Straight Talk phone costs $50 and $30 a month for the call plan. The basic Jitterbug phone costs about $30 and the basic monthly plan begins at $15. The first year, the Straight Talk phone costs $410 and the Jitterbug costs $210 and Jitterbug has a 30 day return policy. After that first year is over, the yearly cost is $360 for Straight Talk and $180 for Jitterbug. Guess what? I just talked myself into saving $200 a year! I've never been one of those people who are impressed with what someone else has; especially when they're treading water due to credit card debt. I'm not impressed with what kind of car someone drives; rather, is it safe, reliable transportation? Does a person provide for their family? If yes, that impresses me; if no, the Bible says a man (woman) who won't provide for his (or her) family is worse than an infidel. I agree. Like Dolly Parton said, "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm not blonde."

If you've been thinking about identity theft insurance and heard the LifeLock commercials, you should know this: LifeLock charges about $150 a year (single) and Zander charges $75 (single) plus Zander provides more and better coverage. Wow, seems like such an easy decision when put in black and white numbers.

~ part of my small flock ~

The only reason I'm telling you about some of my personal financial decisions is to help you think about money. Money is a tool, just like a vehicle, and it can take you where you want to go...but you have to have a plan. Mom and Daddy brought us up to give the first ten percent to God, save the second ten percent and we could spend the remainder. It's a plan I follow today and have found I've never run out of money for my needs and, often, have enough to pay for my wants as well.

Dewena, Across the Way, recently blogged about her decision to stop blogging and I found her post interesting. Especially in light of the fact I've been thinking along similar lines. I don't want to stop blogging but I do want to change directions; I'm spending the next few days pondering directions.

~ dressed for chores ~

I trust your Christmas was memorable, in all good ways, and New Year's will be safe and sane. God's blessings on you, yours and the work of your hands and heart.

Blessings ~ blog world ~ readers ~ smart financial decisions ~ saving money ~ spending wisely ~ dreams ~ goals ~ plans ~ travel ~

Dear Sandra,

~ Sadie, looking forward ~

There's a new magazine and blog called FOLK, Live Authentic and says it's "the story of modern, authentic American life. We bring a fresh, youthful perspective to today's American culture while preserving the past through sharing the American story, and the story of those living authentic lives." It says a lot more and, while losing me at the "fresh, youthful" part, I'm picked up at the "preserving the past" and "living authentic lives" part. From what I've read, I'm at least old enough to be everyone's Mother if not their Gran and that's fine with me. At least I'm still alive to give a nudge to the yunginn's every now and agin. -smile-
If you go to the Journaling Agenda page, there's a weekly blog writing prompt and, as long as I remember, I'm joining in. The first week of this new year is "write a letter to you" so here's mine:

Dearest Sandra,

It's been a year! A year of leaving, learning, growing, standing still, tears, laughter, sorrow, joy, sadness, happiness, big decisions, big risks, a year of holding on and letting go, a year of God and His enormous grace, mercy and love poured out upon you. You, in your ignorance, would have changed Dave's death into life so you could have his protection and provision still. God, in His infinite wisdom, chose otherwise and it has been His protection and provision that has overshadowed you these past long months.
While Dave lived, one of God's last gifts to you was leading Dave to Christ. On Monday morning, Dave asked, "How do I get right with God?" and you spoke of God's gift, His Son Christ, and what that meant for all eternity. Dave made his peace with God and on Saturday morning went Home. Dave asked for two things: to die at home and not to die in the agony of the last stages of cancer. He'd taken care of Cathy, his first wife, in her last stages of cancer and he knew what lay ahead. He told you he wanted to spare you both even though you assured him you wanted him no matter what. In His infinite mercy, God gave Dave his last desires. Dave died of a massive heart attack and he died at home. Those first months you spent in shock. Oh, you did all those things that needed doing and did some of them correctly but made mistakes as well. You listened to others say, "don't you think it's time you got over it? It's been a few months." or "you're a prickly personality" or "you need to get on with life". Yes, and them cozy in bed at night, snugged against their husband!
You gave yourself a year to grieve, a year to focus on the grief and the loss, the aloneness, the knowledge that you were now your own provider and protector...at least, with skin on smile... . That year was given up to tears and the adjustment of being alone, save the animals. You told yourself you'd move on to mourning and leave the grief behind and, mostly, you have but there are times still, the grief catches you unawares and you're poured out, empty, all over again. 
Dave lives on, in Glory, with all those Saints and great cloud of witnesses gone before. God left you to carry on, to ponder, pray and discern His new will for your life. You've an inkling and are spending this first week of the New Year making a calendar, plans and goals for growth in this new direction. There are those who don't feel God speaks to us in this day and age; they are right. You're one who believes God does speak to us you in this day and age and you are right. He speaks in a whisper and you listen, shutting out the noise of daily living, turning off the television, radio and computer; if necessary, turning off the telephone to focus on His voice. He opens a door here, a window there and guides your feet on the narrow path.
True friends have been so kind and acquaintances have been...well, they have been acquaintances. So many times they have approached you and asked intensely personal questions. Why they think they have the right to ask personal questions simply because you know each other is beyond my kin! Some of them haven't spoken to you in years, yet the need to know your personal business overcame any sense of propriety and ask they did. Perhaps, as you answered them, you were gracious but even if you weren't, you can still live with it; you did nothing wrong.
You learned you don't have to do something because someone else tells you that's what you need to do. 
You learned to say, "No, that's not acceptable" and then describe what was acceptable. 
You learned to go toe-to-toe with doctors, nurses, hospital administration and not back down; you learned patients and families have rights, true rights, and not just in word alone. You learned you didn't much care what someone thought of you as long as Dave's needs and comfort were met.
You learned to buy property; to negotiate and bargain. 
You learned to buy and sell cattle but don't think you'll be doing that again! smile You've taken care of the animals, farm, house and learned to ask for help; you learned to listen and heed wise counsel. 
You learned there are millions of people who aren't ready for death, either to someone they love or to themselves. 
You learned you have something to give...the hard-won knowledge gained from Dave dieing so suddenly and without being prepared. That knowledge is being put to paper; "death comes to us or for us, it's best to be prepared." 
You learned love transcends time, life goes on, friends love unconditionally, the prayers of those whom you'll never meet this side of the veil have held you up before His thrown of grace, mercy and love. 
You learned the "righteous will never be forsaken nor His seed beg for bread".
The opportunity to travel afforded you new friends whom you hope to see again but, in the meantime, your prayers, one for another, hold all close.
Most importantly, you've learned...re-learned...God is able in all circumstances and situations if when you get out of His way.
So, dearest Sandra, last year has gone, the new year still has nappies and you're dreaming new dreams, have new plans and goals and are forging ahead. Some things won't change - God first; self, family and friends second and all else trailing behind. As long as you keep your perspectives in the right order, it will all work out according to His plan and glory. Sandra, be gentle with yourself, show yourself love, honor and respect, claim His blessings and promises so you can fill to overflowing and, in turn, bless others.
God bless you, Sandra, and the work of your hands and heart; may the worst of 2013 be claimed from the best of 2012.
You are left in His most capable hands.
Amen.

Today's Miracles - snow on the mountains ~ shining sun ~ Carly, giving nose kisses ~ fire in the wood stove ~ good weather for feeding livestock ~ peace ~

Dream LARGE or PDS Part 2

~ Sadie and Sandra ~

I'm not much on New Year's Resolutions as I believe what Daddy always says, "If you're living the way you're supposed to live, you don't need to make resolutions." 
I do believe in writing goals, making plans and lists, and dreaming large...make that LARGE. Perhaps you read my first goal oriented post, PDS - Pretty Darn Smart! Part 1 but I suggest you click on the link and re-read before reading this second part; it will help put it all into perspective.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish" so says Proverbs 29:18 and how true a statement! Do you want to have an etsy or eBay account or own your own business? Do you want to sell at a brick and mortar store or be published in a magazine, book or even, publish your own book?! Do you want to be on a television show or have your own program? Do you want to find a wonderful person and be married?  
I truly believe God delights in answering dreams that are LARGE and that will, ultimately, show His goodness, grace and mercy. He is able; it's we who are small thinkers, planners, dreamers and goal makers.
My six year old self wanted to live on a farm with horses, sheep, goats, cows, dogs and cats. Now, my almost sixty year old self lives on a farm with horses, sheep, dogs, cats and I used to have goats and calves. God answered the desire of my young heart!
As life changes, as dreams and goals are met, it's a good idea to revise dreams, plans and goals. I don't make resolutions but try and live the way I should daily, so, if the first day of the New Year allows, I schedule time to tweak my dreams, plans and goals. If the first day doesn't have time for that activity, I do it as soon as possible.

Your goals should be                      SMART GOALS
"Do any of you need wisdom? Ask God for it" says James 1:5 and most of my three ring notebooks have a front page with this verse. I want to see it Every Single Day; I want it engraved on my brain and, most importantly, I want God to give me wisdom so I ask Him for it, Every Single Day.
S - you should make specific goals in detail; as focused as possibly but knowing you'll have to be flexible. Make sure your goals are what you want and not what someone else wants for you...easy mistake to make! Also, write your goals in the positive, affirming what you want, "I choose to _____". 
M - you should make measurable goals and be able to measure your goals and success or lack thereof. Your goals should not contradict your other goals; they should all be in accordance, one with another.
A - your goals should be attainable. Yes, you should make challenging goals but they should also be within your reach. Start by making smaller goals that will enable you to reach larger goals; stepping stones, as it were to ensure success.
R - your goals should be rewarding or realistic goals. Your goals and priorities should align and, most importantly, you must be willing to work toward their successful completion. As you reach your smaller goals, your larger goals will shrink because you grow toward them.
T - goals should be timely and have a time line and deadline. If you don't have a time line and dead line, how will you ever know when you've achieved your goal?
I'm repeating myself but it's that important...every day, ask yourself, "is what I'm doing taking me closer, or further away, from my goal?" Then, adjust accordingly.
Finally, is there                            BALANCE?
Dave, my husband, died in 2011, and I've, pretty much, spent this last year trying to attain balance again. It's so easy to become overwhelmed with all the work load of animals, farm, house, finances, writing, studio, physical, spiritual and all the rest. I've found when I have balance in my life, I tend to accomplish more and with much less stress, both mental and physical. There are five main areas I focus upon and write goals:
~ spiritual - each morning I have devotions where I read uplifting books, including the Bible, and listen to sound Biblical preachers such as Begg, Youceff, Sproul, Swindoll, Meyer and others. I'm going to start taping Osteen who isn't theologically deep but he's a great motivator. Someone asked me, "Do you really listen to all those preachers?" The answer is, "Yes, I do." Perhaps not all of the daily but I do listen to a minimum of two each day and, most days, more. You may be a truly nice person but, I hate to tell you this, I'm naturally cranky. There's a lot of fallen man in me and I struggle with practicing Christianity but, bless His name, God is faithful, merciful and gracious toward me.
~ home, family and friends - Dave and I lived contemplative lives and that's not going to change now that he's gone. If anything, it's going to become more so because I don't like noise, stress, craziness, busyness and the like and strive mightily to eliminate those things from my life. No one can control my schedule but me and I'm perfectly comfortable using the word "no" when necessary. There's no room for guilt in my life nor is there room for continually cranky, mean, unkind or downright nasty people. It's not allowed and when such a person enters my life, I weed them out rather quickly with no feelings of regret on my part. Christ died on the cross knowing not all would accept him so I'm comfortable not being all things to all people. Who protects you in your life?
~ health - the hardest area for me as I sincerely hate to sweat unless I'm doing physical labor. I don't mind hoeing or shoveling or working a horse in the round pen but I despise to exercise and sweat! The days I do put in a Zumba or yoga tape, the dogs and cats think it's play time and it's rather difficult working out when three dogs are either jumping on me or sitting on me when I'm on the mat.
~ financial - this past year has been such a steep learning curve for me and I'm still finding paperwork that needs letters written, telephone calls made, etc. in order for me to reach a closing point. God, please give me wisdom!
~ community and volunteer - My volunteer work is done in my community and, there's a possibility, I'll do some church volunteer work later this new year. 
You're going to end up somewhere, why not somewhere of your own choice? I've read most people plan their vacations with more thought than they plan their lives but that doesn't have to be the case. You'll reach your goals when you follow and plan PDS - Pray, Dream, SMART goals and that makes you Pretty Darn Smart!
In closing, I'd like to suggest some other folks to help you on your path...Dave Ramsey is a great financial guy and late last year, I took his Financial Peace University and it helped me enormously! Dr. Kirk Elliott is an economic analyst and his paper, 10 Ways to Survive the Economic Tsunami That is Coming, is the best I've read.
Susan Branch is my (almost) daily dose of happy and she has a lovely post on The Care and Feeding of Dreams; reading it will do your heart and your life a lot of good. Yes, you're busy and have a lot on your plate but what can you let go of and not miss? I'm betting there's more than you think. If you're a Christian, a practicing Christian and not just one of those people who attend church occasionally, put and keep your life in perspective. God first, family second and your life, and the lives of those who depend upon you, will be much better.

Today's Miracles ~ a deep breath ~ rain for a thirsty earth ~ lunch with friends ~ contented beasts ~ electricity ~ a warm house ~

PDS - Pretty Darn Smart! - Part 1

~ Pray, Plan, Dream ~

PRAY and PLAN

"Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you." ~ I Peter 5:7 ~

"I have a firm conviction that I am immortal till my work is done." 

~ Lottie Moon ~

"If you don't know where you're going, 

you'll end up somewhere anyway." 

~ Sandra Bennett ~

"Goals are dreams with deadlines." 

~ Diana Scharf Hunt ~

Do you believe God speaks to you? Do you believe He's concerned about the details of your life? If you do, then God does speak to you and He is concerned; however, if you don't believe, you're also correct. 

Before you pray over your dreams, goals and plans, make time to sit, ponder and think. What do you want to achieve? Keep a notebook (it doesn't have to be fancy), whether something like a Daytimer or a school notebook, but write down your prayers, dreams and goals. Don't worry about order or size, just make a list of everything that comes to heart and mind.

If you're a practicing Christian, prayer is already a large part of your life. There's nothing God doesn't care about when it comes to you, His beloved child. Give your life, your dreams, your goals, your plans...give it all over to Him. Debbie Macomber says, "If you long for balance, lay your dreams, priorities, and goals before the Lord and pray over them. Repeatedly. Be open to revision if you hear that still, small voice." I would add, "when you hear that still, small voice" because, if you're listening, you'll hear His voice!

I make lists for everything...daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. At this point, my lists don't go much beyond yearly but they could and, eventually, might.

When you've finished your list, number your ideas in order of what's most important to you. Some things on your list might not need to be on your PDS list; for example, cleaning the house or having the car serviced. Those things you do normally; your PDS list is for above and beyond daily living. Some of your goals might not be reasonable. If you've always wanted to pilot your own plane but lack the money for both lessons and plane, then, probably for now, "piloting your own plane" needs to be taken off your list. 

When writing goals, make sure the "W" questions are answered and use positive, progressive language.

Which goal or goals do you need or want to achieve? In order of importance, decide which of your goals are most important and don't confuse your to-do list with your goals list. My to-do list includes mundane necessities such as farm chores, house cleaning, errands, banking, etc. My goals, and list, must fulfill me as a person and as a Christian.

Who will help you? Do you have knowledgeable friends, family members, bloggers, read e-zines, magazines or other help? If friends or family members are negative, don't even tell them about your goals and dreams. Simply go about your business and let them find out you're a success after the fact.

What will you do? It's okay that some of your goals won't make the final cut. Only keep those that speak most strongly to your heart but not, necessarily, to your abilities. If your goals are aligned with God's will, He'll give you the abilities.

When will you work on your goals? Set aside daily time to devote to realizing your dreams. What time of day are you most productive? I write in the mornings, after devotions and farm chores. Every day, five days a week, I set aside two hours to write on my book and only after those two hours are finished do I move on to other things. If necessary, set a timer; do whatever it takes to  make you sit down and WORK. Remember to take breaks to give both body and brain a brief respite from the work at hand. By the way, a blogger's best friend is the ability to write now, post later.

When do you want to achieve your goal? Set a time table or calendar and, on Monday, decide what you need to do that week to work toward your goal. On Friday, review and see where you've exceeded or fallen short. By setting weekly goals and reviewing same, you'll, in time and, hopefully, on schedule, achieve your dream. Remember the old saying, "you can eat an elephant one bite at a time." Also, schedule time for monthly and yearly reviews.

Where do you want to achieve your goal? Do you work from home or do you need an away from home office or studio atmosphere? What works for one might be a distraction for another so if you work from home, make an office or studio for yourself. It can be one end of the kitchen table, a closet or an entire room. You have to have a place where you go to work Monday through Friday and don't negate the importance of training your family, and others, to respect your space and time. No, you do not have to answer the phone; get an answering machine. No, you do not have to check e-mail; leave your account closed until work is finished for the day. While you're at it, train yourself!

Why do you want to achieve your goal? Crazy question, eh? It's totally necessary! What are your reasons for your goals? It's best if your reasons are your own; when you make goals based upon what someone else wants for you, generally, nothing comes to fruition. You need to decide why you want to achieve your goal or goals. Do you want to help people, see your name in print or build a business? Why might be the most important question of all!

A general goal is, "I want to lose weight" but a specific goal is, "I want to lose ten pounds, lower my blood pressure and will walk one mile a day, five days a week with a friend." Being specific answers all the W questions and states what you want to achieve...lose ten pounds, your friend will help with accountability, and walking one mile a day for five days a week will help lower my blood pressure."

When you write goals, list a maximum of fives steps you need to do in order achieve each goal. Your goal needs to be specific; don't write, "I need to lose weight," instead, your five steps might say:

1. lose ten pounds this month

2. walk one mile five days each week

3. walk with a friend for accountability

4. increase protein intake

5. decrease fat and carb intake

Every day, ask yourself, "is what I'm doing, taking me closer or further away from my goal?"; then, adjust accordingly. 

Next, Part 2 - Dream Large

First published on Living Better At 50 and today, joining in with Soli Deo Gloria.

Blessings ~ prayer ~ plans ~ dreams ~ goals ~ Abba God ~

Sabbath Keeping

~ daybreak ~

"And afterward I will pour out my Spirit on all people

Your sons and daughters will prophesy

Your old men will dream dreams

Your young men will see visions."

~ Joel 2-28 ~

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible."

~ T. E. Lawrence ~ 

"Dream as if you'll live forever. 

Live as if you'll die today." 

~ James Dean ~

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." ~ Oscar Wilde ~

"People need dreams. There's as much nourishment in 'em as food." ~ Dorothy Gilman ~ 

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."

~ John Barrymore ~

"Dreams have only one owner at a time.

That's why dreamers are lonely."

~ Erma Bombeck~ 

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

~ Erma Bombeck ~

"In the last days, God says,

I will pour out my Spirit on all people.

Your sons and daughters will prophesy,

your young men will see visions,

your old men will dream dreams.

~ Acts 2:17 ~

If you'd like a name added to the prayer list, please let me know. Unless told otherwise, names stay on the list for a month; around the world, people are praying.

Prayer Keeping ~ Maxine ~ Pamela ~ Katie ~ Sandy ~ Raeann ~ Geoffrey and Terry ~ Timi and family ~ Kim ~ Renee ~ Stephanie and family ~ Quesenberry family ~ Steve and Gwen ~ Misha and J ~ Jill ~ Debbie ~ Yvonne ~ me ~