Post Turtle

~ Post Kitty ~

"While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our President.
The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle'".
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'".
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb putz put him up there to begin with."
Best explanation I've heard! 

Blessings ~ Miss Gypsy who can get up...and down...a post on her own ~ 

PARAPROSDOKIANS

Winston Churchill is said to have thoroughly enjoyed paraprosdokians.
Say WHAT!? 
Henny Youngman was a master; remember, "Take my wife...please!" or Groucho Marx, "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening...but this wasn't it!" P. G. Wodehouse is always a favorite. "She looked as though she's been poured into her clothes and forgot to say 'when'." 
For those who know I cannot let black humor pass, there's this one by Emo Philips, "I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I use blanks." 
Another by Winston Churchill supposedly about Clement Attlee, "A modest man, who has much to be modest about."
Not sure who said these, but some are really funny:
*If there's a will, I want to be in it.
*War doesn't determine who is right. Only who is left.
*To steal from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
*I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
*I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted a paycheck.
*The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's on my list.
*I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not so sure.
*Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
*You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Blessings ~ paraprosdokians ~ humor ~ humorists ~ another beautiful day ~