Bush Hog - Reliably Unreliable, Part II

Fast forward to...Dealership Guy didn't bring any tools and must return to the shop but will come back this afternoon. My smile feels frozen and I'm not sure if it's because I'm trying to remain calm or because I've been in the cold for close to four hours now. I head to the house to thaw and Dealership Guy heads to his shop; he returns later that afternoon with loads of tools and we determine

*choke is frozen due to being driven through many mud holes resulting in splash on the engine - choke must be partially left out so it can be 'mashed' down to break the ice so it can be pulled out to start the engine. I say, "fine but I'm not willing to do that; Fix The Choke". Okay, schedule a replacement choke.
*vapor lock in the fuel line - too much line means a crimp which needs to be cut off and reattached.
*heater not linked directly to the key so heater must be separately turned on and off or it will drain battery. This is So Not Very Good so please fix.

There are other "issues" but those are the ones that mean the Hog does, or doesn't, operate. If it were a piece of exercise equipment, it would now be laden with clothes and used as additional clothes hanging space.

Dealership Guy is a very nice guy who is doing a great job and is about as frustrated as I. Between the two of us, we manage to get the Hog started and running and Dealership Guy helps me with evening farm chores. I think this is because of two reasons – he’s embarrassed because our Brand New Hog appears to be a lemon and he wants to stay with the Hog until he’s sure it’s working. Eventually, he heads back to the shop and I head to the house, both of us happy which turns out to be shear ignorance of What Lies Ahead.

The next morning, not even twenty-four hours after delivery, I’m in the barn, pushing in on the Hog’s choke which was left open. This works to break the ice and choke can now be pulled out/pushed in and engine turns over and starts. HURRAH! I am SO HAPPY…again, as it turns out, ignorantly happy because I do not know What Lies Ahead. I finish chores and head to the house and call Dealership Guy to say, “Thanks! The Hog worked well this morning…meaning it started…and my chores were accomplished in relatively warmth and ease”. He’s happy, I’m happy and everyone knows when Mama’s happy, everybody is happy. Right?

In the afternoon, I head to the barn, go through my Little Choke Ritual; turn on the key and ratta tat tat tat tat tat .

WHAT THE?????

Dead Battery.

Dealership Guy gets another call. Yep, dead battery and it will be fixed before dark. I manage a smaller hurrah as my enthusiasm is waning.

The week prior to delivery, Dave called Bush Hog Corporate Headquarters in Selma, Alabama and spoke with a “Customer Service Representative” ~and I use the words loosely~ several times. Miss K. promises this, swears that, tells of many trials, tribulations and woes on her part but…Bush Hog Will Make It Right! Miss K. promises to relay messages to Management and, eventually, a VP calls. She and he must have the same script because he, essentially, promises the same… Bush Hog Will Make It Right! Ummm, that was about three weeks ago and we’ve heard nothing since.

Yeah, Yeah. I am So Not Believing This anymore. I’m beginning to doubt my “Buy American” attitude and am thinking if I can understand someone’s accent when they lie, does that make it better or worse than when I can’t understand their accent?

Okay. Less than two weeks of having this Brand New Reliably Unreliable Bush Hog and

*Bush Hog Corporate Vice President still hasn’t called us back
*Bush Hog parts are still “somewhere” in their system but Most Certainly Not On my Bush Hog
*Bush Hog still isn’t starting because choke still freezes in cold weather.

Yeah. You heard me right. Said Bush Hog is setting in the barn with choke frozen solid because I didn’t leave it halfway out yesterday morning. I forgot. So, I suppose that makes it my fault and not Bush Hog’s fault, eh?

So. Bush Hog Corporate Headquarters: If you’re reading this, come get this blasted piece of equipment and FIX IT. I don’t want it until it runs in ALL weather! Bring me a replacement. Heck. Bring back the Workhorse, at least it started No Matter What the Weather. Cold, windy, wet, snowy…the Workhorse started. Yeah. The “sexy little golf cart” started in All Manner of Weather, all day, every day. 365/24/7. The Workhorse Started.

“Bush Hog Tough” my rosy red derriere. Bush Hog Pansy is more like it.

Blessings ~ it's warmed to above freezing so maybe, just maybe the choke has unfrozen ~ we've had much moisture which helps our ground water level ~ the sun is shining ~ dry boots ~ sun glasses