The Quiet Insanity of 3 A.M.

~ 3 A.M. or 0'dark thirty ~

Someone once said if all the women in the world who were awake at 3 a.m. got together, they could rule the world. Do you think there's verity in that comment? I do but then I wonder, what if all those women weren't Christians, as we know they aren't? Then I'm reminded of a man I once dated who said, "I'd rather rule in hell than serve in heaven." We broke up shortly thereafter -smile-. Now that I'm on a memory trip, that same man would also quote Shakespeare's Polonius, "This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst then not be false to any man." Unfortunately, when he said them, they were just pretty words as his business dealings weren't, always, on the up and up. The good news is, when we broke up, the decks were cleared for Dave's, eventual, arrival.


Yesterday, Sunday, I went to church then shopping which I am loath to do on Sunday. I "justify" it by saying I'm saving resources...making more than one trip so I don't have to go off the farm today. Yeah. I know. I'm not kidding myself, just playing foolish mind games. Anyway, after coming home I got in the laundry that had been hanging on the line since Saturday, spray painted a small bamboo ottoman...yeah, yeah, more non-Sabbath keeping but, in general, had a lovely afternoon, mostly on the back porch. Oh, by the way, I'm also one of those women who won't wear pants to church; only skirts, blouses or dresses. I don't care if women wear pants to church, it's just that I care if I do...so I don't. Throughout the day, I worked on my weekly to-do list; it's the only hope I have of accomplishing anything. 

~ bamboo ottoman ~

Some years ago, I bought a Franklin Covey calendar system and have yet to figure out how to best utilize the dratted thing! So, I use a small notebook and struggle along. smile One wish I have is those Franklin Covey folks would recognize my complete and total inability to effectively use their calendar system and take me under wing. Yeah, and I want to win the lottery as well. wry smile Their tagline is "we enable greatness"; well, I'm already great because my Abba is the Creator of the Universe so I'd be happy if they would just enable me to effectively use their product...for which I paid Perfectly Good Money...and a lot of it, in my humble opinion! So, Mr. Franklin, or is it Mr. Covey, do you hear my plea for help?


The to-do list for today includes, but isn't limited to, making bread and shortbread, making some business telephone calls, paying bills, wrapping wedding gifts, re-potting some plants, going through my closet and Dave's closet to select clothes to give away and all this after doing my usual farm chores. Some of these things bring worry and, sometimes, it's a struggle to "cast my cares upon God because He cares for me." Sometimes, I find myself holding onto those cares, woes and worries and then I wonder, "WHY?" It's far easier, for me anyway, to cast those cares upon Him in the daylight hours; it's then I'm busy and can hustle those cares, woes and worries right to the sidelines. 


It's not so easy at 3 a.m. At 3 a.m. all the weight of the world can cause my neck to tense, my shoulders to ache, my back to bow and a blind panic takes over my mind. 

~ sometimes the Light is cloudy ~

What if, what if, WHAT IF?! I am not qualified to make business or financial decisions; I am not qualified to handle this farm; I am not qualified to tend to these animals; I am not qualified, I am not qualified, I AM NOT QUALIFIED! My mind reels with these thoughts, over and over and over and... until, long after the struggle begins, exhaustion sets in and my body concedes what my mind won't relinquish. In minutes, or so it seems, it's daybreak and time to begin my day, exhausted and muzzy headed from lack of sleep. 


Prayer helps as does reading Psalms. Both help me remove the wrong focus and see the right focus. It helps me put life, and eternity, into perspective. Truth be told? Some nights it's easier than others...but...BUT!


God is qualified; He is able. He is also strong, wise, tender, merciful, righteous, loving and filled with wisdom and grace toward me. He has plans for me; He wants me to succeed! He wants us to succeed! 


What's your worry? How do you handle it? How do you handle the quiet insanity of 3 a.m. when darkness threatens your eyes, your heart, your very soul? Pilgrim, say this out loud: the quiet insanity of any hour of any day pales in comparison to the God who created time.


The same Abba to whom I turn, is your Abba as well. He has plans for you; he wants you to succeed; He wants your focus upon Him. The next time you're awake at 3:00 a.m., think of me, then talk to your our Abba. Abba God never, never sleeps.


God is able, He is listening, trust Him.


Blessings ~ 3 a.m. ~ to-do lists ~ Psalms ~ prayer ~ plans ~ God's work in each of us ~

Sabbath Keeping

"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet, than a house full of feasting with strife." ~ Proverbs 17:1 ~

"Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child,

Make thee a bed, soft, undefiled,

Within my heart, that it may be

A quiet chamber kept for thee."

~ Martin Luther ~

"Traditionally we are taught, and instinctively we long, to give where it is needed - and immediately. Eternally; woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim." ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

"Man has to learn to seek first the kingdom of heaven, the place of stillness and quiet at the highest level of which he is capable, and then the heavenly influences can pour into him, recreate him and use him for
the salvation of mankind." ~ White Eagle ~

"Indeed, the greatest blessing that can follow the death of those we love is reconciliation. Without it there is no peace. But with it come quiet thoughts and quickened memories. And what else shall a man do except become reconciled? What purpose does he serve by fighting what he cannot touch or by brooding upon what he cannot change? We have to trust the Lord God for so many things, and it is but one thing more to trust him in the issues of life and death, and to accept the fact that his plans and promises and purposes transcend the bounds of this world and of this life. With such faith the years are kind, and peace and reconciliation do come to those who have laid to rest their loved ones - who, even in death, are not far removed from us, and of whom our Father in heaven will be mindful until we meet again even as we are mindful of our own children. bitter grief without reconciliation serves no good purpose. Death comes to all of us, but so does life everlasting." ~ Richard L. Evans ~

"Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words."
~ Ranier Maria Rilke ~ 


"Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a stead, long-continued process." ~ Phillips Brooks ~

"Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others."

 ~ Marian Wright Edelman ~

"He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

~ Zephaniah 3:17 ~

 Blessings ~ quiet ~ character ~ genuine ~ choosing to fill the pitcher to the brim ~ quiet ~

Dei Gratia,
Sandra