Doctors, Nurses, Hospitals...OH MY!

~ morning at home ~

Since this journey has begun, Dave and I have picked up the jargon of hospitals, doctors and nurses. It's been of great help as, quite often, it felt we were speaking different languages. I wouldn't wish what Dave, nor I, have been through on my worst enemy and in the interest of self-preservation, I'm giving you some helps that have seen us through some dark days indeed.

In the South, we speak the Queen's language, although she might not recognize it as such. It is though and the rest of the world, northern USA especially, speak something else at times, hardly recognizable. 

Let me know if this is of help to you and yours.

Southerner's Medical Dictionary

Artery..........the study of paintings
Bacteria..........the back door to the cafeteria
Barium..........what doctors do when patients die
Benign..........what you be after you be eight
Caesarean Section..........searching for Kitty, Cauterize.....made eye contact with her
Colic..........a sheep dog
Coma..........a punctuation mark
Dilate..........to live long
Enema..........not a friend
Fester..........quicker than someone else
Fibula..........a small lie
Impotent..........distinguished, well known
Labour pain..........getting hurt at work
Medical Staff..........a doctor's cane
Morbid..........a higher offer
Nitrates..........cheaper than day rates
Node..........I knew it
Outpatient..........a person who has fainted
Pelvis..........second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative..........a letter carrier
Recovery Room..........place to do upholstery
Rectum..........dagone near killed him
Secretion..........hiding something
Seizure..........Roman emperor
Tablet..........a small table
Terminal Illness..........getting sick at the airport
Tumor..........One plus one more
Urine..........opposite of you're out

Someone sent the above via e-mail so I have no idea of the author; I'd love to know so they could be properly credited!


Blessings ~ Dave, out of hospital ~ home health nurses, PT, OT ~ home cooked food ~

Soli Deo Gloria,
Sandra